are you a loser? I am a LOSER!

EX: hey. sup? how ya doin'?

jeszieBoy: hey. not much. im good. how about ya?

EX: great. doin' good. :]

jeszieBoy: that's cool. uhm, u got a new one?

EX: what do you mean i got a new one?

jeszieBoy: i mean, new updates? about you. ya know.

EX: well nothin' really much. still the same.

jeszieBoy: cool. how about yer work?

EX: fine. just fine still kickin'.

jeszieBoy: good for you.

EX: hehe. yeah.

jeszieBoy: so..love life? who's the new one? :]

EX: that's negative, i heard you got a new one.

jeszieBoy: (smiled)

EX: i see. silence means yes.

jeszieBoy: naa. i wish i have. remember the day we broke up? you told me to go find better than you are.

EX: yea. i do remember. what's the problem with that? haven't found the better-than-me one yet?

jeszieBoy: well that's exactly the problem. how the heck will i find the better one if i've already let go of the best that i could possibly have? *sigh*

EX: jez..

jeszieBoy: naa. don't say word. i know what yer sayin'. i just know what yer sayin'

EX: *sigh*

jeszieBoy: ya know what, i could lie to everyone 'round me. but not to myself. never to myself. all this time i thought i got over you. but one day, i woke up. and i just told myself. i still love you. i still do.

EX: i don't know what to say jez.

jeszieBoy: hahahaha! you don't have to say anything. i just wanted you to know. just that. gotta go now. see ya whenever. lol bye. :]

♪ ♫ aking hiling sa mga bituwin na minsan pa sana ako'y iyong mahalin. ihiling kahit dumilim ang aking daan na tatahakin. patungo sa iyo. ♪ ♫

..jeszieBoy
..i wish i knew how to quit ya. geez. i'm such a freakin' LOSER!

just a piece of aphorism

(this is another entry from my former blog. i posted this like 4 or 5 months ago when I, was still in the stage of moving on. posting it here basically means nothing but to help other people who are in the same stage right now.)


let us first define what an aphorism is;
aphorism - a concise statement intended to make a point.

hey! sup guys? i’m here again.. just wanna share something! :]

hmmm.. today, upon waking myself up from a woderful nap, i just realized that i want to share this simple yet very consoling piece of aphorism. when i read this, it immediately got my nerves, it sank in, and made me feel that everything’s gonna be alright.

I’m talking about those broken-hearted folks. this aphorism will be really helpful to those people who still couldn’t get over their past relationships. those people who find it hard to let go of everything that has something to do with their ex’s, for those who sob their hearts out every night, while listening to some mellow music. For those who always reminisce, who always hope, and wish that someday their gonna be together again, although they know the very fact that they’ve been long forgotten by these people. I’m talking about people LIKE ME folks! :]

there was this guy who added me in friendster. but the idea of this post doesn’t revolve around that guy. he was accessory to the crime though. when i viewed his page.. and was scanning the whole profile, i saw group of words written somewhere in the middle of his page, making a two sentence statement. i read it. and it goes..

“Someday, someone’s gonna walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with someone else.”

i was palpitating, i read it again. this time, with all my perceptions;

“Someday, someone’s gonna walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with someone else.”

and boom! i couldn’t take my eyes off of that sentence, it was like repeatedly echoing at the back of my mind. i went to my room, grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, jot it down with my chicken-scratch penmanship, and pinned it on the wall. i read it again, and again, and again, and again.

it made me think, that it’s true. so true. someday, someone will come into our life, and make everything almost perfect. someone who will make us feel that we are so special. the feeling that we so wished didn’t fade during our past relationship. and by then we’ll get to realize, that this is why, it never worked with him/her. that’s why, during those times, no matter how i beg, he/she just wouldn’t give me a chance. that’s why we never made up.

you see, we just have to bear in mind that we have to be affirmative. not just in this aspect of life, but in all aspect. like family, friends, school, work, everything where you get to encounter a lot of different problems. it’s ok to cry, don’t feel embarrassed doing so, whether you’re a girl or a guy, especially for us, guys. crying uplifts our burdens. crying makes us feel that we are somehow fortified after each cries, knowing that we bear all this obstacles of life. cry. just cry. but not for a while. after each cries be sure that you have strengthened yourself.

i hope i was able to help some of you guys, who are still batlling yourselves against these pains, and hurts and all that. i hope the aphorism that i have given you, has somehow comforted you, the way it has comforted my still bewildered feelings.

before i set this post off, i want you guys to read this once again. with all your heart. understand each word, and make them penetrate you. and i want you guys to read them aloud. just don’t mind the people around you if there’s any. ready? here we go.

“Someday, someone’s gonna walk into my life and make me realize why it never worked out with you, -say the name of your ex-”

we can do this! just remember! ALWAYS BE AFFIRMATIVE. AT ALL TIMES, ok? tnx for reading guys! have a nice day! :]

..jeszieBoy

..you can do it! CO'Z YOU ROCK!

the DREAM.

ok. i'm so desperate to really decipher my dream last night. It was about my ex, actually, she's my first girlfriend. STEPHANIE. our break up was kinda one of those that didn't really turn out so well. i sort of made something that somehow hurt her. or yea, really hurt her. but after a few months, we became friends. everytime we see each other at school, we talk, and sometimes we eat together. really good friends.

and last night, i dreamt about her. there, she was like a goddess. she was so beautiful and there were a lot of men attracted to her. she was talking to me, but i couldn't even hear a single word of what she was uttering. and then i just gave up. i went away. suddenlyI heard her shouted my name.

and it was gone. I was already 15 minutes late in my first subject. what does it mean? does it really mean something? or just nothing? ugh. why is this buggling my mind?

..jeszieBoy

..well honestly, i kinda miss her.

are they like sisters?

kanina, i was watching wowowee. and because it's vacation, i forgot that it's Saturday today. and the reason that i said that is because every Saturday, celebrities get to play in willie of fortune. and it so happened that Rachelle Ann Go was one of the players. so wut's the big deal about that? well nothin' much. upon seeing Rachelle Ann Go lang kasi, just makes me remember one of my exs. she looks just like her kasi. tlga, every time i see Rachelle, parang i always get to see narin nicka, my ex. wala lng. ang laki kasi ng kasalanan ko sa kanya. 'em hoping that she has already forgiven me.

oh ayan tingnan nyo. ng malaman ang sinasabi ko.

See wut 'em talkin' about?hehe.. para silang pinagbiyak ng bunga. namiss ko tuloy tong babaeng to. haha. anyways, here are some of her pics pa. inde na silamaxadong hawig sa mga pics nato eh.

hahay, wag nmn sana xang magalit pag nalamn nyang ginawan ko xa ng post and that i posted her pics here. haha. bahala na! :]] malay mu nmn, hu knows, dito xa makita ng real, destined prince charming nya diba? :]

..jeszieBoy

..pasenxa na nicka ha? hehe. :]

wut happened to ma christmas?

hay salamat. Nairaos ko din ang aking FREEZING COLD CHRISTMAS. well hinde ko naman xa maxadong naramdaman kasi natulog lang ako. :)) Pero bago un, nagpakalasing pala muna ako. MAGISA! o kaya nyu ba un? lols. I had no choice eh. I was left alone, in the house. And that was actually my very first time, to spend christmas alone, and away from my family. And I 'm not used to that. that's why I guess, nagpakalasing na lang ako MAGISA!


here's the catch.

My granpa passed away last dec. 10. (mother side ko ha.) so my mom went to Surigao. Dun probinsya nila. naiwan kami dito nina erpat, kapatid na babae at kuya ko. My dad then was planning to follow. But the problem was that we still had our exams. My kuya was not interesred to go there. Inde ko alam sa kanya kung bakit. Ako naman, ewan ko. I don't really know. Actually, I was reluctant talaga to go there. Kasi nahihiya ako. I was I think, grade 5 pa the last time I went there. wala lang. nahihiya tlga ko dun. Inde kasi ako close sa mother side ko. sa father side ako sobrang close. Batangas lang kasi un. malapit lang. So i decided na magpaiwan na lng. but I had to endure the consequence. That i had to spend christmas alone. haha. ung kuya ko nmn kasi may sarili syang mundo. kasam abarkada nya. lols. so sumunod sa surigao erpat ko pati kapatid kong babae. tska pabor nman un sa kanila na nagpaiwana ko. ang mahal mahal ng plane ticket ngaun. peak season kasi.

So un. magisa akong nagpasko. Nagiwan naman si erpat ng pampasko namin ng kuya ko. Kaso sabi ko naman, sayang lang. dalawa lang nman kami, so wag nlang magluto. and besides, walng magluluto. dahil xempre, wala yung katulong namin. xmas eh. naawa siguro skin utol ko, tinawag nya ko. punta nmn ako. nakita ko siya nagiinuman together with his barkada. sabay sabi nya! "tagay muna jez!" I immediately said "NO!" not because I don't drink. But simply becuase I'm not used to drinking with utol. Tpos napakarami pang barkada nya which not even one of them I know. pero when i saw kung ano ung iniinom nila, nanlambot kagad mga tuhod ko! REDHORSE! MY FAVOURITE! nagdalawang isip tuloy ako. pero ayoko tlga kasi NAKAKAHIYA! but utol kept on insisting. so tumagay lang ako ng isa. pucha! nung natikman ko, nawala ako sa ulirat ko! grabe! I haven't drunk redhorse for quite a while now. I coudn't even remember the last time I had it. so pagkatagay ko, i went out, bought a couple of redhorse! haha. ANG SARAP KASI EH! nagun lang ulit ako makakainom nito. tapos nagkulong ako sa kwarto ko. dun ko inubos!haha! nung maubos, tipsy na ko. eh medyo nabitin. I was about to buy another set, when i saw this red wine. may redwine pa pala dito . edi yun naman inupakan ko! :)) lols. lupit nu?

while I was putting myslef to the different dimension, tinitxt ko na ang mga tao. ng meri xmas. tinxt ko ung ex ko. na inde man lang nagreply. inde man lang nya ko naalala. haha. ewan ko sa kanya. siguro dahil may nilgay akong "amisyow" at "tekker coz i kerr! sa txt ko. pero nakakalungkot lang tlga na di nya man lang ako naalala. pati nga nung bday ko di man lang nya binati. haha! kaw tlga! tas i texted my other ex. this is what i said:

"hi nicka! meri xmas!

sori sa lhat ng nagawa ko sau ha?

as in sori tlga.

sana masaya ka ngaun.

GODBLESS! :]"

inde kasi akong masyadong naging boyfriend material sa kanya. parang I took her for granted, alam ko kasing lagi syang nandyan. umaga na ng mabasa ko ung reply nya. masaya daw xa kasi kinumpleto ko xmas nya. and natuwa nmn ako sa nabasa kong un. at least ako napasaya ko sya, samantalng ako di man lang pinasaya nung isa kong ex.

haha! anyweis, ganun lang nangyari sa xmas eve ko.

tapos nung25, lumayas ako ng bhay. umala kung saan saan kasam aang aking bestfriend. 12 na ata ako ng gabi nakauwe.haha. tas andun na pla sina erpat. nakabalik na. bute nman! me makakain na ulit ako! new yr nmn ang paghahandaan ko! pero this time, KUMPLETO NA KAMI! :]


..natatawa tlga ako. while I was doing this post, i didn't know na nasa likod ko pla si erpat, and he was actually reading this. tapos nabasa nya ung part na "tagay muna jez" na naka bold pa. and he just said; "i knew it! i knew u'r just gonna drink here!" haha! epal tlga tong erpat ko! :))



..jeszieBoy
..iam so excited for this new yr! :]