Sunday, December 26, 2010

After 6 Months




I really dont know how to start up this post. it's been 6 freaking moths since i last posted an entry. i just literally darted off from the blogsphere for pretty much a while. crap, i know my blogging thingy is starting to really get dilapidated. i just lack everything. the drive, ideas, time, creativity, whatever, and i hate it coz i've always loved blogging. or maybe not. maybe i just dont get to have more time to sit in front of my computer and let my struggling imagination and my reluctant fingers do the rest.

or it could be because of this;

im already on my senior year which means i have to really work my butt hard if i wanna get my name on that list of students who will be marching in PICC this summer. everything is swiftly pacing, fast track. im not even sure if im catching up with everything that's going on. i feel like i wanna smoke pot right now just to slow everything down or just hit that pause button even for a little while. this sem has got to be the hardest! but man, there aint nothing to it but to just do it and get everything done in time, hopefully. and then graduate!

yea, that's pretty convincing and more acceptable. so i think imma stick to it. on other note, i really missed blogging. i just wish every faculty in school gets sick so everything will be postponed until further notice. or every printing machines they have get jammed. that way i'll have all the time i want to just blog and blog and blog! i've been missing a lot! probably everything. is that what you call s-a-c-r-i-f-i-c-e? damn. i wonder how it feels to get school stuff as sacrifice for every gods in this planet.

CHRISTMAS! i almost forgot. it actually kinda ease everything up with all these mouth-watering food my mom made and all these parties around, gifts etc. i cant wait until new year. goodtimes! i may be one day late but i still wanna wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!


..jeszieBoy
..Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays..♪♫♪

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Amazing Cat Machine Gun




..jeszieBoy
..die bitches! die!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Self-Stimulation


why is he doing such?

BECAUSE HE CAN! DEAL WITH IT DAWG!



..jeszieBoy
..dude.. give yourself a break.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Real Deal Behind The Mayan Calendar (2012 Doomsday)


..jeszieBoy
..you think it's fun to make fun of it?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

She Can't Be Tamed

Oh no, Miley Cyrus definitely couldn't be tamed here. that is one hell of a vajaejae Miley baby.

..jeszieBoy
..it can't be tamed! it can't be tamed!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

My Kind Of Season

When i was a kid, i was always amused and elated everytime i notice the sky starting to get gloomed. the atmosphere becoming chilly, gust of cold air touching everyone on its way and the smell of the ground getting ready to get some good splash. it was like something that i would always enjoy watching. it would start with fine drizzling, slowly getting heavier until it turns into a pouring rain. and that's what i'd been really waiting for. i was faster than the speed of light. next thing you'd know, i was already outside, thumping waters with my eager feet. and then i would start yelling out, calling my friends to come out and join the fun. i always wished that it would never stop. sometimes when i'm in school, i would pray really hard; "please Jesus, tell your angels to water your plants" (that's what my mom told me about raining.) not because i wanted my teacher to get distracted with her lecture but rather distract me from her lecture. but really, i just loved it when im in school and it's raining.

15 years later, nothing has changed with this rain thingy and me. except of course that i no longer go out and dance simoultaneous with angels watering the plants up there. nevertheless, i still love everything about rain. in fact, i was stirred to make this entry coz it's raining right at this moment. summer season is finally over people! and yes, rainy season has just landed on us. my kind of season, yeah! i have long been waiting for this to really come. this summer had put on so much effort to torment us all. now im starting to have a liltte idea on how hell would be like. but worry no more, coz we are gonna get wet people!

there are tons of things that i really enjoy doing when it's raining. you know like stuff that puts me in tranquil and here are some of them;
  • i enjoy it much to just stare outside and watch everyone and everything gets wet.
  • drink hot coffee
  • listen to my favourite songs
  • lie awake and pull the blanket over my head
  • mary palm (LOL!)
but nothing beats merely listening to each raindrop hitting the roofdecks of every house around with some thunder. music to my ears and really sets my mood. i am certain that i'm not left alone here. i know that thare are lots of people who like me, enjoy every bit about rain. and must have been really pleased and in great joy that our kind of season has once again come. enjoy the rain! :]

..jeszieBoy
..pumapatak na naman ang ulan sa bubong ng bahay ♪♫

Friday, June 4, 2010

Oh Shit, Bella!



..jeszieBoy
..SHE BANGS! SHE BANGS!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Make Your Car Look Like An Upper Middle Class!




..jeszieBoy
..ingenious!

Beware Of your Serene, Cuddly, Mysterious Cats

http://files.sharenator.com/cat_How_to_tell_if_your_cat_is_plotting_to_kill_you-s532x1600-11886-580.jpg

oh my gosh. my cat is not doing this to me.


..jeszieBoy
..it's been a while! :]

Friday, April 9, 2010

I Just Wonder



why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

why doesn't tarzan have a beard?

why does superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

if people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

why do we fall asleep instantly when someone starts touching our hair?

when we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say "it's all right?" well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "that really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?"

why is it that the person you don't like is the one that's more interested in talking to you?


the statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. think of your three best friends, if they're ok then it's YOU.


..jeszieBoy
..why oh, why..

Sunday, April 4, 2010

A Kid Devastated When Told He's Not A Single Lady

ok, i know some may be really thrilled by the song single ladies by Beyonce. but this kid, is whack. i stumbled upon this video and man, i just can't hold a breath from laughing. i was dead. here, better see it yourself. enjoy!



jeszieBoy..
you can be a single lady if you want ok? Lol..

Sunday, March 7, 2010

10 Masturbatory Situations


when you rub yourself until you hit that orgasm baby! doin' some self love. :] [collegehumor.com]

1) Rush
The rush job made its first appearance when your mom screamed your name to come down for dinner. You're not in this one for the romance of it all. No, this is more like the equivalent of a one night stand in a bathroom stall, but with your hand. It's quick, it's dirty and you're slightly ashamed of the type of person you are afterwards.

When to best use it: Mom went out to get milk / Roommate's in shower / You're in shower

2) Accidental
You're having a casual conversation with your friend and BOOM you're touching yourself. Or maybe you're in a meeting with your advisor and WHAMMY, you're doing your patented counter-clockwise head rub rotation. It's not so much an accident as it is a routine that's you've become accustomed to. It's just what you do when you zone out from time to time. I hate to say it, but you should probably stop. It's called indecent exposure and Pee-Wee was arrested for it.

Fun Fact: Accidental masturbation occurs 95% more when wearing sweatpants.

3) Relax
You've got 3 papers and 2 exams tomorrow and life just ain't feeling so great because you know you're about to pull an all-nighter. Stress levels are at a maximum and you really need to let loose. Sure, you could try drugs, but let's be honest, that's not really in your budget. So unless you want to start doing yoga like a man who's comfortable with his sexuality, this is the next best relaxation technique for you.

When to Best Use It: Before an oral presentation / Mid-study break / After taking out a student loan

4) The Short-List
You're scrolling through late-night TV and you pass something slightly erotic - let's say a new workout routine. But wait, this is TV and surely there's something else on, so you hold out. But let's not get greedy. We'll add that channel to the short-list and see if something better is on. And who knows, maybe you find an old "Charlie's Angels" episode you can add to the list.

FYI: If you have a button on your remote that quickly returns to the last channel you were on, you can quickly use this to switch back and forth between the short-list.

5) Crappy Internet
There's no worse feeling than waiting for a porn to load on your computer with a slow Internet connection. You watch 5 second and then it has to continue loading or rebuffer. It's like masturbating to a picture in a magazine - it's just stupid. Most likely this situation will end in a orgasm of frustration and anger. That's why it's smart to always have a backup plan. Remember, hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

How to Best Remedy: Invest in an external harddrive to save some backup porn in case of emergency

6) Bored
Nothing's on TV and you can safely say you've seen the entire Internet. No one's doing anything because all your friends are lame and to be honest, leaving you with just your thoughts is a bad combination. That is unless your thoughts are of that cute dark haired girl in your class from earlier today. So rather than absently twiddle your thumbs Indian style on your bed, why not twiddle your happiest thumb Indian style on your bed.

When to Best Use It: Waiting to switch laundry from washer to dryer / Tuesday / Right now

7) Drunk
Just because you didn't bring a girl home from that party or bar doesn't mean your night has to end with pitiful puking. That is unless you want to puke out your dick hole. The drunk masturbatory session tends to be a bit sloppy, but that's mainly because you're using a warm Natty Ice as lubricant. Chances are it'll be as sloppy as drunk sex but infinitely less rewarding. Let's hope for your sake you pass out before you finish.

Fun Fact: Underage drinking is illegal, but there's no such thing as underage masturbating! Yet.

8) Power Through

You're a couple minutes into the routine and you just realized you're actually not in the mood to masturbate. Could be because of situation 10 or even number 5, but either way you need to buck up and finish the job - the personal hand job that is. You may think it's pathetic to keep going when you don't want to, but imagine how much more pathetic it is to just stop and pull up your pants. Premature ejaculation is less embarrassing.

Equate it to: Realizing the girl you just brought back to your place isn't actually as hot as she looked at the party, but sometimes you just gotta buck up and fuck (up).

9) Planned
The candles are lit. The curtains are drawn. Your sack is freshly shorn and you've got your most expensive economy-size bottle of Astroglide out. If you were taking your dick out on a date, and to be fair you kind of are, he'd be pretty impressed with the atmosphere you've created. You've got multiple tabs open in your browser with your favorite porn videos - all 100% loaded because that's how fucking classy of a date you are. Guess what guy? You're getting lucky tonight.

Fun Fact: You''ll never love a woman as much as you love your penis.

10) Post-Tragedy
You just buried your great aunt, like, 45 minutes ago. Her corpse is practically still warm, but so are your nether regions. Of course, you could be considerate and wait until later in the week to get back in the routine, but what's the point? What's the point of anything we're all going to die anyway. Oh no, oh god no. Her death affected you more than you thought it would. Now there's just this pit in your stomach. Hey, you know what makes you feel better. She can't see you right now can she? Oh God, I hope she can't see you -- defiling yourself, LOL. Boy, it feels good to laugh again. And cum.

Comforting Thought: When the elderly die they can see every time you masturbate. Good thing Great Aunt Susie had cataracts!

..jeszieBoy
..guilty pleasure

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Don't Tell It Demonstrate It

Durex, the trademarked name for a range of condoms made by company SSL International has come up with a new campaign made entirely of typefaces by German illustrator/designer Andrej Krahne.

The task: Communicate the joy with Durex.
The idea: Don't tell it demonstrate it.
The execution: Type shows like X-ray the inner feelings during the act with Durex


this one is really cool. i thought it was clever and full of wit!



..jeszieBoy
..have a safe sex ya'll!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pornography Behind Numbers

lima


..jeszieBoy
..porn is just INEVITABLE.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

When I Talk About Stuff I Hate Talking About

If there's one thing that I'm not really comfortable talking about, that would have to be DEATH. i mean there's a heck of a lot to talk about in this world where we are right now. like why people kill one another, how humans have become insatiable in every aspect of life, why men love sex (and so as women) and so on and so forth. it's not that I'm afraid to die, i mean i know that we all are gonna arrive at that latter part of living also known as "dying." it's just that I'm not ready yet. who's ready to die anyways? even some terminally ill are still holding back. they still don't wanna go.

i am very much aware too that no one can really tell when we'll get our reward but one. that's GOD or any higher being that you believe in if by any chance you got one. so we don't really know. what if one day while on your way to school or work you got hit by a car in a breakneck speed? or knock your head off and just die. you don't have time to prepare so to speak. you don't get the chance to finish things. you don't get the chance to do things the way you wanted them to get done. you don't get the chance to repent. unlike with those sick people. people who knew that they're clock is just about to ran out of batteries. they get to put things in their proper places before they leave. don't you find that unfair?

now you might be getting a little bewildered here i know. i just said that i get apprehensive when the topic is about DEATH and here i am making an entry about it. well to tell you honestly even I myself don't understand why. here's the thing. for the longest time I've always wondered whether people who are about to meet the Creator experience some sort of unconscious indications for that matter. like days, weeks, or months before. let's set aside the imminent deaths. I'm talking about the sudden ones. like they get to be more expressive of their affection, or they had this strange feeling of doing things right today. or maybe feeling like they're being probed to spend more time with their loved ones.but they didn't associate these with death per se. they just felt like doing it not knowing it's their final moments.

most of the time, we kid ourselves about death. we don't take this thing seriously. we preoccupy ourselves with the things we want instead of the things we need.but there's a better approach to that. to know that you're going to die and to be prepared for it at any time.

in my favorite book, Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom, Morrie said that once you learn how to die, you'll learn how to live. we all know that we are going to die. but we just don't believe it. because if we did, we would do things differently. it's hard for us deal with death. why? because according to Morrie we really don't experience the world fully, we are half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do. facing death can pretty much change everything. we would drop all of these and we'd focus on the essentials.

I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to die young.

..jeszieBoy
..we all are gonna die. the question is when and how. Lol.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Good God, I'm Pregnant; I Wonder Who Did It

One day, a college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. the instructions were simple but hard. the short story had to contain the following three things.

  • Religion
  • Sexuality
  • Mystery

there was one student who come up with a very brilliant story. it was the only A+ short story in the entire class. it was;

"Good God, I'm Pregnant; I Wonder Who Did It."


..jezieBoy
..I'm very tired tonight. just got home from duty. gooodnight.

Monday, January 11, 2010

what santa really does while you're asleep














..jeszieBoy
..I've always pictured this fat ass as a dillhole.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Life as a cup of coffee

I love drinking coffee. but not as much as Kris Aquino does. from what i know, everyday, she would drink like 8 gargantuan cups of coffee. that's everyday man. and yes, that's 8. and i can't imagine getting myself that vast amount of caffeine everyday. I'm pretty much a newb. but i consider myself an addictus already.

every morning, after stumbling out of bed, I'd go straight to the kitchen and make myself a coffee. i couldn't function well until i have a cup. when i get home from school I'd be needing another one to invigorate my entirety. it has like a therapeutic action. whenever i suffer from veisalgia, i would need 3 cups in one single time. it's like my anti-depressant, anti-stress, sedative, anti-anxiety, anesthetic agent and everything. as a matter of fact, as i was doing this entry, I'm enjoying myself with another cup.

i drink coffee anytime, anywhere. morning, afternoon, evening, after eating, inside my room, after squeezing one off, while watching TV, in front of my computer, while watching porn, inside the bathroom while growing a tail, or trimming my pubes, you know. those kinda thing. but the point is, i freaking love coffeeee period.

the reason why i brought up this addiction of mine is because today, i was told a very inspirational story about it. whether or not you had heard about this, i don't know but it was definitely my first time to have heard of it and just had the most considerable thought of sharing it with you. hoping that you'll have the same surge of enlightenment as i did.

so here's the story;

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.


..jeszieBoy
..ahhh. soooothing.

Friday, January 8, 2010

DeafSex

Two deaf people got married. during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing or in read lips.


after several months of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.


she writes;

"honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? for instance at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. if you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times."


the husband thinks this is a great idea. so he writes back to his wife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. if she doesn't want to have sex, reach over and pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.


..jeszieBoy
..that was geeenius!

Learn how to draw an elephant


Today, we will all learn how to draw the massive but cuddly wang elephant.




..jeszieBoy
..funtiiimes!