the day I got demented.

It was a bright and shinny morning but I had a slight feeling that something odd would happen to me that day. And I was right. I knew I was always right. My mom asked me to accompany her at some mall to buy stuff. when we got there, I told her that I would just be somewhere outside, digging up some air. I was at the side of the road, watching people and cars passing by.

An old lady with a grubby appearance showed up and stared at me straight to my eyes for like a minute or two. Despite the obvious soiled emergence of this woman, the windows of her soul had an impeccable effulgence that seemed able to be seen by no one but me. I kinda felt I was being haunted by these. I had the strangest feeling that I was the only one aware of her existence. I started to get startled. Waiting for my mom on the side road where I tremblingly stood, I turned my gaze to the other side eager to look back and see her no more.

But disappointment deteriorated my heart-filled dread. Hairs on my nape prickled up, my chest was pounding so hard that I could hear every single monotonous thud. I was barely looking where she was at, but my intuition was lending me the picture that at a snail's pace, the old lady was taking her steps right through me. I wanted to shout for help but I could hardly produce a single sound. I wanted to run, but I could scarcely budge. I was then immovable. Little by little, her scrawny filthy hand was touching my arm. Freezing cold sensation suddenly engulfed my entirety. I was being hoisted up by some sort of mist emanating from her body.

It was the very first time that I had such feeling. And I thought it was so cool, the best sensation ever. Arctic-like combined with sort of low voltage power hit and tickled my peritoneum cavity. I couldn't help myself but to grasp and take the pleasure in. I was having the best time yet gloomiest of my life. Simultaneous with the satisfaction, a menacing oblivion overthrew every single detail of happiness over my head. What's left now are nothing but pure anger, hatred, grief, wretchedness and melancholy.

As my feet starting to touch the ground again, I was at a complete loss. I was becoming a total madcap. With my blurry vision, I still managed to witness something extraordinary and yes, there was even more unusual than what was happening to me. A lucid silhouette of a skinny lad emerged out of nowhere with some sort of well polished piece of stick on his right hand pointed to the hooded old lady in front of me. For a second I thought it was me he was aiming at. I was about to get down for a count when I heard him yelled "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" with that stick still pointed to the lady. A radiance of bright illumination with a stallion contour materialized from the tip of his stick, smearing my vision. I fell to the ground with a great thud. It was the last thing I could remember.

When I opened my eyes, I was still standing at the road side. My mom was talking to me.

'hey, what happened? are you ok?' She asked.

"m-om I-I got de-men-ted." I stuttered.

'what are you talking about son?' she queried perplexedly.

I glanced up at the road, cars were in breakneck speed getting ahead of one another as if nothing odd just happened to me. Then I realized, was it a dream? or an illusion? could it just be a hallucination? A car bizarrely halted in front of me with a poster fixed on its window. I looked at it. It was this poster.

07/17/09

I got a glimpse of someone on my left who was also looking at the poster. . .


she looked at me. . .


I got goosebumps. . .


It was the same old hooded lady. . .



..jeszieBoy
..wag ng umapila. that's my own version of a DEMENTOR AND BEING DEMENTED. :))

*&?%#$@+!

Never in my entire life, that I have imagined something made out of a gag would ignite such a vast conflagration among outdated dudes. you know what I have noticed? people are getting more and more thin-skinned. why is that so? can someone tell me? ugh.

sige sige, para matahimik ang mga kaluluwa niyo, and mine as well, no comments shall be posted na here in my blog. and I strongly suggest those a-holes involved to just cease dropping by and get their a** outta here.


..jeszieBoy
..hindi pa ko galit nyan. :]]

two DAVIDS are better than one!

Last Saturday, May 16 2009 was a dream come true. It was one heck of a night that made everyone else there go crazy. It was the night etched in my mind. It was the night that I gone wild. It was one of a life-time opportunity that involved two of my favourite international artists. David Archuleta and David Cook.

I was a fan of these two lads, ever since their auditions during their American Idol days. From day one, until their final singing brawl on stage, I got hooked. Actually, I wasn't just fastened to the two of them, but their whole batch! Theirs was really the best of all, and Simon Cowell even had to agree with me! :)) mind you guys, not even one of last yrs' episodes got ahead of me. That's how I got really hooked. My favourite episode was when they had a special number where they got to sing Shout To The Lord during their Idol Gives Back. It was one of my favourite christian songs, and seeing the AI batch that I was so passionate about, man! I'm like, OMFG! haha. :))

So when there was this one time, I was scanning through the sites in the blogsphere, I stumbled upon this particular blog that had a post that really caught my attention. It featured that the two Davids were actually coming to the Philippines to have a back to back concert. I was kinda reluctant upon reading the post, but starting to jump off my seat. I made contact with the owner of the blog to ask if it was real, and he confirmed it. My chest bursted out. I had long been waiting for this. When someone informed me that the tickets for the concert were already available, without second thought I immediately went to purchase two, for me and for my best friend. And so my prayers had been granted!

***
Concert night

The concert was held at MOA open grounds, started around 8:20. The whether was so perfect, and the crowd was just unbelievably incredible! Our seat was just good enough to see the two Davids up close and appreciate their entirety!haha. so, it was like, minutes away from the start of the show, when the crowd got surprised when suddenly, sparks of illumination sky-rocketed and made everyone else looked up in great awe.

David Archuleta emerged with a total bang! the crowd exploded, my bestfriend blown up, and I, I flew into insanity. Everyone was just soo freakin' astonished by this young dude singing his first song "touch my hand"

More Pics!

while everybody else were standing over their chairs tryin' to have a perfect angle to have a great glimpse of archie, I happened to notice this guy who seemed irrefutable with his choice to just sit and feel like nothing historical was happening around. he seemed like just sitting in a bench in some park. haha.lols.


Archie was freakin' soggy wet by his sweat after singing around ten songs, nonstop! Right after singing his last song, "Crush" he bid goodbye and headed to the backstage. and he was gone, just like that. Minutes after Archie's performance, the sky was again illuminated by colorful flamboyant fire crackers that awed the crowd and it was better compared to Archie's :))

It was the second set of the show, when David Cook emerged, everyone just gone ballistic! I couldn't hear anything but these screamingly screeches of the mob that excited Cook even more who couldn't believe how many people went to the concert.

Cook: are you guys havin' fun?

crowd: yeaaaaa!
cook: cool! co'z 'em havin' a BLAST!
crowd: woooo!

The show ended with a song which I forgot the title, that was sang by both Davids, and man, it was so cool, people were waving their hands, (including me! haha.) simultaneous with the Davids. I knew that it was gonna be their last song so I really got myself along with it. and as I have foreseen, it was indeed their last performance. they both bid goodbye, cook put his left arm over archie's shoulder, and together they disappeared in the middle of smoke-filled stage as the people, continued to screech as if so satisfied with the show. man, it was so freakin' worth it!

for the videos, visit bowtruckle

..jeszieBoy
..deymm! hoping for them to come back! :]]

ang dakilang INA at ang walang utang na loob na ANAK

"o nak, gising ka na pla. teka ha. male-late na kami handa ko lang baon namin ng tatay mo.

'kelan ba dadating ung katulong? badtrip nman eh. wala na akong ibang ginawa tuwing hapon pagdating galing school kundi maglaba ng maglaba ng uniform ko. napapagod na ako! hindi ako mkapg review. midterms ko na! ano isasagot ko nyan?'

"may washing machine nman."

"kahit na! pagod na pagod na ako! sa umaga paplantsyahin ko pa uniform ko. kaya ako lagi late. badtrip! kelan ba babalik ung katulong? bat nmn kasi pinayagan nyo pa mag pahinga. wala tuloy maasahan dito sa bahay!'

'*walang imik*'

"nakakapagod na! bwiset!"

'kumain ka na muna. niluto ko ung paborito mo. wag ka magalala. naglaba na ako kaninang madaling araw. para hindi ka na maglaba mmya pag uwi mo. plantasyahin ko nlng mmyang gabi pag uwi ko.

"nakasimangot pa din."

'kung hindi mu na tlga makita ung digicam mo, eto pambili ng bago. wala na tayong magagawa dun. *sabay abot ng pera*'

***

kaya mu bang gawin yan sa ermat mo? kaya mo ba siyang sigaw sigawan na parang ikaw ang nagpapalamon sa kanya? na parang ikaw ang naghirap sa pagdadala sa kanya sa loob ng 9 na buwan, na parang ikaw ang magkanda tae tae sa pagiri, mailabas lang siya kahit hindi mo na makaya ang sakit? malamang sa malamang ay hindi. lalo na kung alam mo lahat ng pinagsasasabi ko at naaapreciate mo ang lhat ng ginagawa ng ermat mo.

kaya bilib din nmn ako sa taong to, na walang preno ang bibig sa pagtalak sa ermat niya. ni hindi na niya naisip ang mga ginagawa ng ermat niya para sa kanya. ang lahat ng pagod di iniinda, maibigay lang lahat ng gusto niya. mapag aral lang siya sa isang magandang paaralan. WALANG UTANG NA LOOB! naaawa ako sa ermats niya, kasi nagkaroon siya ng ganung klaseng anak. kung sa iba ung baka ginulpi na siya, o kaya sinumbong sa erpat niya. pero dahil napaka bait ng ermat niya, nanatili na lang siyang tahimik.

'bagong gising lang ako nun. kaya ko nagawa un. pero indi tlga ako ganun.'

sige, given na bagong gising nga siya. pero kung nandoon din ung erpat niya, gagawin niya din kaya yun? malamang hindi. dahil baka napatay na siya nito sa bugbog.

'lagi nalang kasi ako naglalaba. napapagod na ako. hindi nmn kasi ako sanay gumawa sa bahay.'

hindi ko alam kung maiinis ako o matatawa. siguro parehas na lang. napaka babaw ng dahilan. laba lang? nagrereklamo na? eh ung ermat niya, naglalaba sa madaling araw, nagluluto ng ulam para sa maghapon. papasok sa trabaho. isusubsob ang muka sa mga paperworks sa opisina. tapos magpapabalik balik sa production, at office. init, lamig, init, lamig. pag uwi magluluto pa ng hapunan. at kapag wala tlgang maghuhugas ng mga kinainan, siya na ang gagawa. dahil ang mga anak, purong tamad. at mukang gusto pa niyang palabasin na kasalanan ng ermat niya na hindi siya marunong gumawa sa bahay.tsk tsk tsk..

'alam ko namang mali ung ginawa ko. ang totoo, pag alis ni ermat, naisip ko ung ginawa ko. at naiyak na lang sa banyo, dahil naisip ko kung gaano ako kasamang anak. kanina, inagahan ko ang pag gising para maabutan ko si ermat. maaga kasi sila umaattend ng church. sakto. paalis na sila.'

***

'nay, san po kayo punta?'

"church. hindi ka ba sasama?"

'*iling*'

'kumain ka na lang dyan ah. nagluto na ako. bka matagalan kami dun kasi me practice pa ata tambourine dancers ng youth ministry. kahit linggo gusto ng kapatid mo magpractice eh.'

"*akbay* happy mother's day po. sorry po sa nasabi ko nung isang araw ah. *tsup.*"

'aus na un. wag ka nlng maingay sa tatay mo. nako, ang anak ko. kelan mo ba ako huling hinalikan? grade 4 ka pa ata nun. haha. :))'

***

ang dakilang ina.

***
nasan ung walang utang na loob na anak? hindi na kelangan ilagay ang pic niya. tumingin nlng kayo sa paligid ng blog na ito. makikita niyo siya.

...jeszieBoy
...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OUR MOMS! :]

I miss HIM like hell!

P.S. (as in prescrpit; is there such thing?lols.): I strongly suggest you all to read the whole entry first before making any conjectures .

do you know how it feels like to be with someone all your life, that you become somewhat dependent to him? although the relationship was just short-lived, it seemed like you become too physically and emotionally attached to him. Despite the hindrances, you still remained standing. why? because you love him. and that's all it took me to make this entry.

I MISS HIM SO MUCH. It torments my entirety every time I think about him with someone else holding him, someone else spending the night with and that kinda thing. It's been quite a while, but i still couldn't get over him. I am still a prison of my past. I gave up. not because I was weak. on the contrary, I think I was more than stronger to accept that he's no longer mine. That someone better than me has taken my place and is now making him even happier.

When I told my friend that I was to make this post, she immediately disagreed. she even thought that i was insane! She thought that people wouldn't understand my situation. That people might just dump it. Might even laugh at me. But I told her that I just don't care. AT ALL. MIGHT AS WELL SCREECH IT TO THE WORLD!

I actually made this post to feature a poem that i come up with when one time, Insomnia knocked on my room door, with non-stop reminiscing. I AM DEDICATING THIS POEM TO HIM. wherever he may be.

I miss you like HELL

I remember the first day we met
The first time I saw your smile I was in red
Everything was so perfect and special
Everything felt it even my bile.

I was in seventh heaven when finally,
Someone like you came to my life so timely
I didn't want to miss that chance
I didn’t want to rise if it was just a trance.

I wanted to hug you,
I wanted to caress you.
It was our first date,
But it felt like I was just your mate.

Until I finally saw
That it was just fraud and raw
I couldn't be any happier
when I held you without any barrier.

The first night we slept together,
was certainly unlike any other.
I didn't want to end any moment that night,
I wanted to do it with all my might.

Everything was in their proper place
For the first time my life was not in haste.
Had it not been because of your love,
I would've been a scrawny lost dove.

Until one day something terrible confronted me
In just a flick of a snap all is gone, great jeopardy
I couldn’t do anything about my frenzy
but to let go and weep like a baby

And now that you’re gone
I wish I still have a chance, even just one.
But I reckon that’s way impossible
For you and him/her are now inseparable.

In three yrs we were in each other’s care
I just hope you’re in the same stair
Whoever that person who took my place
shall love you and fill my space.


The times that we were together,
The memories I just couldn't get over.
It’s still hard for me to think
that you’re gone in just a blink.

I miss your buttons; I miss your screen,
I miss everything about you that makes me green.
You were my phone for three yrs, oh so well,
And now Imma missing you damn like hell.

my phone for three yrs, got snatched. it's more than memorable and sentimental to me. so much of my "firsts" in life, he was there, he witnessed them all. he was my buddy, he was my great memoir from my lingering past. and now he's gone. he's all gone.

..jeszieBoy
..isa nlng phone ko. wala na akomg smart. :(