Wednesday, January 4, 2012

This Is Titled As Untitled

Its the 4th page of the new chapter in my life. im in front of my desktop tryna come up with something that i could put into writing. i promised that i would make time to do more entries on my blog, now i have all the time that i got, i feel like im gettin a writer's block. (just spare me that hallucination. im a frustrated writer. really.) i just felt like i needed to write about something that im still tryna figure out as im composing the next few words of this paragraph. it has been always like that. blogging has been a way of releasing my inner thoughts and most of the time, my emotions. i could literally just throw off everything here. that kinda makes me feel relieved, and dismissed, and reassured and whatnot.

talking about emotions, last 2011 was a circle of emotions. it was one roller coaster ride actually, in which i would say had gotten the back seat ( which is the best seat if you love that weightlessness feeling). so here's the summary of my last year. 

I took and passed my comprehensive exam, the hardest exam ever that I have taken in my entire life which landed me to one of the greatest moments of my life that happened March of the same year. I was dead nervous that I totally lost control of everything; I forgot what the date was. I even almost forgot my name.  tho I thought I was just really lucky enough to be one of the few who made it, I couldn’t stop thinkin’ how proud I was of myself! Lmao.

21st of this month to be exact was pure bliss. It was my graduation day. That feeling when you’re standing right next to someone you're not even familiar with, smiling and tellin each other how ecstatic you guys were, that everything had finally been paid off. And that graduation march song was the best song ever! (if that was ever a song)

I took and passed my qualifying exam which was our pre-board exam. I remember how terrified I was thinkin if i wouldn’t make it, my school wouldn’t permit me to take the boards. but fortunately, again i was one of the few who actually made it.

it was the start of the battle to get my license. two grueling and sleepless and tough months in preparation for  the greatest combat of my life. i almost gave up but my dreams kept the fire burning.

2nd & 3rd of this month of 2011. 2 months of preparation for a 2 day battle. i was all set and ready to kick some ass. lmao. Nursing Licensure Examination. 3 years back i would day-dream about this very day, how it would feel like, and how it would actually turn out. now i was here. standing in front of my assigned chamber fervently waiting for it to be cracked open.

14th of this month i was hired by the top bpo company in  the country and was getting a good pay. it had been really on plan then. right after the last day of my battle, i took a break for like a week. then opted to find a job. and landed from where i was for the next 6 mos.

results came out, and after i saw my name on the list of board passers, i literally jumped out of my seat, and strangled my cousin till he couldn't breathe no more. he slapped me on my face and i realized that it wasn't me at all. so i went back to my seat and tried to be modest as possibly as i could. and continued searching for some names.

i was transferred from ortigas site to makati site where i met this person that made my stay at the company special for a month and painful for the next 2 months. painful like someone just casted a cruciatus curse on you.

i was determined with my decision. last day of 2011 was my last day at work. i QUIT my job.

change is the only constant and permanent thing in life. change of plans is just one big aspect of it. certainly reasons are behind and lurking somewhere but if you think you're one of these reasons, hate to break it to ya, but YES! YOU WERE!.  lmao. but to make it easier for you, you're not the front act of the show so breathe easy.

suddenly i had this strange feeling inside me that made me realize that i was supposed to do something else. something that i was destined to do. something that would hoist my dignity as a human. and right then and then, i told myself; "you need to pursue your profession brotha"

it will be a new start of my journey to life.. its gonna be really damn hard, but im just gonna believe and hold on. and surely eventually, time will come that i will realize it was all worth it. i will have no regrets at all. and i will live the life that I've always searched for.

..commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed -proverbs 16:3

No comments: